champagne & vinyl

champagne & vinyl

modern parenting with a classy edge

Recent Posts

Jessica Barth on CNN: We could have made Weinstein powerless

Jessica Barth on CNN: We could have made Weinstein powerless

Jessica Barth published an op-ed with CNN late last week, rounding up her range of emotions since the allegations against Hollywood mogul and citizen creep Harvey Wientstein surfaced just a few short weeks ago.

Jessica Barth Comes Out Against Harvey Weinstein: This Is How Hollywood Silences Women

Jessica Barth Comes Out Against Harvey Weinstein: This Is How Hollywood Silences Women

  In the latest harassment scandal to rock the entertainment industry, multiple women have come forward against Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein, alleging that he used his position of power as leverage and intimidation for sexual favors in return for highly coveted and competitive roles. Our […]

What I Learned From Back to School

What I Learned From Back to School

Who else has been ready Back to School since school let out!?  This summer seemed longer than most summers in our home and I think I know why.

Venice has reached her teenage years therefore yielding all summer camps to be lamesauce.  This translates into lottt of mother-daughter time.  It was a rude awakening to find out that summer camp was a huge blessing all of these years because HOLY HELL is it is full time job keeping kids occupied day in and day out!

We did spend a significant amount of time Netflix’n and Chill’n.  Gilmore Girls, That 70’s Show and Friends topped our short list.  Apparently, 90’s television is TV gold.  And, as much as you tell your kid that you used to watch these shows and you used to have “The Rachel” haircut and blah, blah, 90’s..they don’t care.  To them, they own fan rights to all things 90’s.  You can argue your heartache when Ross “cheated” on Rachel.  You can laugh at his defending it by yelling the infamous, “WE WERE ON A BREAK!”  But, they won’t care.  They will just get irritated.  Better to ask dumb questions as if you don’t know the answers and watch their little faces light up as they explain.  Trust me, it’s worth the biting of the tongue.

Other things we did this summer included:

  • Having their cousins out here for three weeks!
  • Swimming in our pool
  • Laying out
  • Doing nails
  • Taking pictures
  • Six Flags Magic Mountain
  • Newport Beach
  • Park City Utah for July 4th
  • The Starlight Bowl with Friends
  • Family and friends visited and stayed with us
  • BBQ’S
  • Playdates
  • Movie nights with homemade popcorn
  • Baked Cookies
  • Santa Monica 3rd Street Promenade and Beach
  • Rode a Ferris Wheel
  • Sleepover with cousins

Man, I’m exhausted just by writing this list!  Needless to say, you don’t need summer camp to have a fun summer but it’s a hell of a lot easier..and cheaper!

As we glide or, in my case, fall into fall, we have already hiked 10 miles to Bungee Jump and we are fostering kittens through BEST FRIENDS ANIMAL SOCIETY OF LOS ANGELES!  Yea, why not!?

Needless to say, we (I) was SO READY for school to begin.  Which leads me to the real point of my post.  My son is entering his 3rd year of pre-school.  He has been with the same group of friends for the past two years and we have really taken this time to create relationships with the teachers, students and parents.  Jake’s birthday falls in the middle considering how his school has decided to split up the classes, so he can go either way.  It just so happens that he has gone one way for the last two years.

This year, Jake was thrilled to start back up at school.  Like I said, we had lott of bonding time together in our home. I think everyone was looking forward to Fall.  On back to school night, the parents get a chance to check out the classrooms, meet the new teachers and most importantly the kids get to reunite with their friends.  When we walked into Jake’s new classroom, my heart dropped.

All of the kids in his new class had moved from their previous class TOGETHER and not one boy from his old class was in his room.  He would basically have to start from scratch.  As we sat at the table, I watched the hesitation in his eyes.  I kept telling myself that he would be fine.  He makes friends, easily.  He will be fine.  You know who wasn’t fine?  Mommy.  Mommy was not fine, at all.  Not when he tried to play dinosaurs with a group of boys and one boy put his hand in Jake’s face and told him to go away.  Not when he tried to go up to another kid to say, “Hi, my name is Jake” only to have that other kid ignore him and certainly not when his cubby had his name written as Jacob instead of Jake.  That was about the last straw for me.

I know some of you are reading thinking that I am probably raising a snowflake.  I can assure you, I am not.  I am not a timid woman and my household is not all cupcakes and rainbows.  I understand that life is uncomfortable and this was a good opportunity for him to stretch his social muscles.  What I did not understand was why I was not told about him being the only kid separated from his friends into a class that was together the previous year.  A little warning would have been lovely.  We could have let him known that he would see all of his friends playing in the class across the driveway but he would no longer be with them.  We could have prepared him on how to make friends more easily.  Stay with me.

I choked back my tears and took the director off to the side and told her my concerns.  Apparently, she was unaware that he was the only one moved and suggested that we give it a few days to see how he adjusted.  I left there not feeling great and tried to convince my husband to call her the next morning.  Cut to the next morning.

I took Jake to his new classroom.  He was a little shy when we first arrived but it took him all of two minutes to start running around with the other kids.  He was laughing and playing and adjusting just fine.  I met a lovely new mother who has kids the same age as mine when I realized, this was so about me.

 

My son was fine.  Did he miss his friends?  Sure.  Could he see them at recess?  Sure.  Will he grow and learn even more this year stepping out of his comfort zone?  Absolutely.  It is so us, sometimes.  There are few things in life more unbearable than your child’s heartache, of course.  But is it possible that we blow things out of proportion, just a touch?  Is it possible that our kids will be just fine without us micro managing their social lives at any age.  More than possible.  I think we have to give our kids the benefit of the doubt a little more.  This is something I am still learning, obviously.

When we give them the freedom, chances are they will thrive because we are good parents.  We are from the parental generation that does things like mommy and me, shop locally, feed our kids organic meat and read mom blogs.  My parents sure as hell weren’t doing any of these things and we all turned out fine.

I am not suggesting we mimic our parents because one, it is inevitable to a certain extent and two, I just don’t subscribe to that line of thinking.  I think we should be progressing as human beings and most definitely, as parents.  I don’t want to do the exact same things as my parents but I do want to do some things the same.  I am learning that trusting ourselves with the knowledge that we are good parents and we are doing our best while trusting what we are teaching to our kids is actually sinking in, if only a little, is paramount.

Nine times out of 10, my daughter is going to make smart choices.  I don’t need to be with her, I don’t need to remind her every second, I just need to know that she is being raised well and she is a beautiful person.  She will be okay.

My son will rise to the occasion and adapt because we are teaching him that life isn’t always comfortable and because he is a fantastic, hilarious and sweet four year old boy.  He will be okay.

My baby girl, well..she has two amazing siblings to look up to and learn from and even if we didn’t parent her a day in her life, that would be enough.

I am trying to remind myself that our children are here for us to guide.  Never to control.  Setting boundaries is different from control.  What I was trying to do with my son’s classroom was to control the situation so he would be more comfortable. My intentions were coming from the right place.  They were coming from a place of deep and profound love but making our kids comfortable isn’t our job as parents.  Our job is to give them the tools necessary to navigate this world with compassion, passion, kindness, boldness, grace and love.  If we are aiming for this, our kids with be just fine.

Keep up the good work, Mommas!

How It Feels To Be Out Of Retrograde

How It Feels To Be Out Of Retrograde

August gave us one of the craziest emotional rollercoaster months in a long time. With a lunar eclipse, a solar eclipse (did you see it? holy crap!), and a longer-than-usual retrograde cycle, it was definitely one for the books. But as of September 5th, it’s […]

THINKING ABOUT TAKING YOUR KIDS TO SEE GREEN DAY? HERE’S WHAT TO KNOW

THINKING ABOUT TAKING YOUR KIDS TO SEE GREEN DAY? HERE’S WHAT TO KNOW

Seeing Green Day in 2017 with kids was surreal. Okay, I’ll just say it like it really was: It was weird as shit. Green Day first hit the airwaves with Dookie when I was in middle school. Now my middle schoolers are listening to their […]

Tips For Taking Kids To See Shawn Mendes Live

Tips For Taking Kids To See Shawn Mendes Live

Thinking about taking your kid to see Shawn Mendes this summer? Here are some things to know beforehand!

•As you probably suspected, his shows are pretty PG. We’ve seen him 4 times now and have never once experienced anything age-inappropriate. The crowd is heavily skewed in the 12-15 year old girl range but expect kids as young as 5/6, tween boys, and lots of tailgating mom’s.

•Tailgating moms. I’m really torn on this one. If by tailgating you mean bringing some fruit and sandwiches and listening to SM in your car with your kid’s friends and their parents before the show, I’m with you. If you mean taking up 4 parking spaces so you can occupy your tweens with cornhole while you and the other moms get a half a load on off of wine coolers, then you lost me. If you’re making it a family event, act accordingly. A beer or two is one thing. Your cooler full of Corona, however, is another.

•Shirts range from $35 for t-shirts to $65 for hoodies. Standard 2017 concert swag prices. •Charlie Puth is the opener. Tween girls really love this guy, bring ear plugs.

•Tween girls love SM even more. Seriously, bring ear plugs.

•Charlie Puth starts at 7:30, runs through until about 8:30ish.

•SM comes on about 9pm, the show ended at 10:30. •Remember that it could take a while to walk back to your vehicle and get out of the lot, so that 10:30 time is arbitrary to what time you will actually get home. If the kids have school the next day or you have work, plan accordingly.

•SM plays 18 songs total, the set list is available online to check out.

•If you live in an area like the mid-Atlantic where you can easily choose between 3 or 4 venues across multiple cities and you see that he has an outdoor concert with lawn seats? Take that one and get lawn seats.

•It’s overall a solid show for tweens and teens who like him.

Seven Months!

Seven Months!

My littlest is 7 months old and boy oh BOY is she mobile! I can’t turn around for a second without her crawling halfway across the room. Here are a few tips for keeping little ones safe while allowing them to explore! •electrical coverings •table […]

The Retrograde Struggle

The Retrograde Struggle

August is set to be an all-time, record crazy month. Who’s already feeling it? 🙋🏼 Here’s the deal: not only are we set to go through a longer-than-usual Mercury in retrograde phase, but we’re also dealing with two eclipses — one, as I’m sure you’ve […]

Summer Bucket Lists Gave Me The Best Memories With My Kids And Why You Should Do Them

Summer Bucket Lists Gave Me The Best Memories With My Kids And Why You Should Do Them

Is there really anything better than summer? Even when you’re an adult and don’t get summers off, summer is still the best because it means no stress of school, no homework, free(ish) schedules, trips to the beach, and sun-kissed legs (because, let’s face it, these pasty white legs are starting to terrify people).

It’s been our tradition as long as my kids were old enough to know what summer is to make summer bucket lists that highlight every last fabulous moment of what summer is all about so we can make sure to squeeze them all in before, next thing you know it, it’s Memorial Day Weekend and I’m tackling the one other mom who waited until the last minute to go school supply shopping for the last freaking book cover.

My kids love doing these even though they’re curmodgeon-y teens now. And I love doing them, even though I’m a curmodgeon-y 30-something now. So, if our curmodgeon-y selves can love them, then so can your family.

 

Here’s one of the first we actually bothered to take a photo of back in 2011.

Looking at this photo makes me all teary-eyed…

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5 Ways To Bond With Your Teenager (Really!)

5 Ways To Bond With Your Teenager (Really!)

Bonding with teenage girls. You guys, it’s as hard as everyone told me it was going to be and then some. I don’t know what it is about the mother-daughter relationship that makes it so difficult sometimes to see eye-to-eye, but I genuinely do believe […]